


Horizon

by HuntersMoon47



Series: Wait For Me To Come Home [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Paragade (Mass Effect), Paragon Commander Shepard, Past Kaidan Alenko/Commander Shepard, kaidan needs an asswhooping, mostly paragon a little renegade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-26 05:12:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9864362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersMoon47/pseuds/HuntersMoon47
Summary: Finally finding Kaidan is not how Danica imagined it. Not at all.





	1. Danica

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly cannon, but some deviations. I just get so pissed every time Shepard invites that jerk back on the ship after he's called her a traitor. I just can't. 
> 
> Also, I just love the idea of Garrus being a little protective. And holding her back when she's about to lose her temper and do/say something she'll regret. They balance each other out like that and I love it.

Danica couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed making her head shots so much. Shooting the assholes who almost killed you was therapeutic. It was definitely better than any therapy the Alliance would have insisted she get after a near death experience. She may not like or trust Cerberus but the fact that she got to take out Collectors made up a little for that.

“Stop stealing my marks, Shepard,” Garrus’ voice echoed on the com. “That’s cheating!”

“Not my fault you’re so slow since your face got all fucked up!” She said back. There was an awkward grunt that was Garrus clearly trying to cover up a laugh. Danica smiled and took another shot; another Collector dropped to the ground.

“Playful banter good for reducing battle tension,” Mordin said he took out a Collector. “Not so good for focus.”

“Sorry, Mordin.” Danica searched the courtyard for more enemies but saw none. She headed for the defense tower and quickly decrypted it.

“Normandy, do you copy?” She asked into her com.

“Joker here,” Joker’s voice echoed in her ear. “Signal’s weak, Commander, but we’ve got you.”

“Time to show these things we give as good as we get. EDI, bring the defense towers online.”

“Errors in the calibration software are easily rectified, but it will take time to bring the towers to full power.” Danica exchanged glances with Garrus as EDI spoke. Nothing was ever simple. “I recommend a defensive posture. I will not be able to mask the increased generator output.”

“That means we’ll have company,” Garrus said. Danica sighed.

“Got any other helpful tips?” Danica asked.

“Just one,” EDI said. “Enemy forces are closing in.”

“Of course they are,” Danica mumbled.

“I suggest you ready your weapons.”

“Always so helpful, EDI.”

“I do what I can, Shepard.”

Whoever taught the AI humor needed to get punched in the throat. It was one thing to get sass from her crew; it was an entirely different thing when her ship started talking back. Shepard directed Garrus and Mordin to cover as Collectors poured into the courtyard. And Husks. She fucking hated Husks; hated the bile that rose in the back of her throat when she thought about what they once were; hated the memories that came with them. Still, the three of them tore easily through the first wave as EDI continued to update her on the tower’s progress.

“Doubtful enemy has withdrawn. Reinforcements likely.” Mordin warned. Danica nodded and pointed to one of the housing trailers.

“Garrus, get to higher ground. They’re coming from too many directions - I need you to cover my and Mordin’s back.”

“Got it, Shep.”

More Collectors. More Husks. There were no defensible positions. Husks nearly got Garrus - she barely got there in time to pull them off him. And still more came. They’d just cleared the yard again when Danica caught sight of something flying at them from the larger ship.

“What the fuck is that?” Garrus breathed next to her. She shook her head.

"Not a clue," she said. “EDI, we need that system online!”

“New Collector template,” Mordin muttered. “Not sure what it is. Try to keep your distance.”

“Two snipers are not going to do much good against that!” Garrus said. Danica glanced at him and nodded. She switched over to her Arc Projector, grinning at the big gun. Garrus snorted and shook his head at her as she crept down the steps from his post to cover on the ground.

“I’ll take care of the shields,” she said. “Mordin, I need you down there; Garrus, make sure nothing else gets close to us.”

“How many charges you got on that, Shep?” Garrus sounded worried. Danica looked down at the gun.

“Six.”

“Six possibly enough to lower shields. Likely not enough to affect armor.”

“Then I’ll switch to biotics when I’m out.” 

“That’s pretty risky, Shep.”

“Yeah, well, risky is my middle name.”

“Thought middle name was Anne,” Mordin joked.

“Hilarious, Doc,” Garrus moaned. Danica’s retort was cut short by a shot nearly missing her. She ducked for cover, engaged her cloak and stepped out to take aim at the flying Collector ship...thing. Then she dove for cover again as her cloak disengaged, her visor reading the shot had barely reduced the ship’s shields. This was going to be harder than she thought. She fired another shot with hardly any more effect. 

“GUARDIAN anti-ship batteries at 100%. I have control.” EDI reported.

“Can’t do much about it now, EDI!” Danice slid around the crates she was using as cover as the flying things moved closer to her position.

“Firing anti-ship batteries at Collector vessel.”

Ten minutes and five medi-gel applications the ship went down. But it was too late. She felt the ground begin to shake under her feet. The Collector ship engaged its thrusters even as the defense towers were firing. There was no way she’d get to the colonists now.

“God-damned mother fuckers.” Danica raised her sniper rifle and took a pot shot at the Collector ship as it lifted off. All that work for nothing. Most of the colonists were on that ship; the same ship that had blown the Normandy to pieces two years earlier. 

“No! Don’t let ‘em get away!” The Mechanic came out of nowhere, running towards the ship that was now well into the atmosphere.

“There’s nothing we can do,” Danica said, trying as much to convince herself as she was the mechanic. “They’re gone.”

The mechanic whirled on her, eyes flashing with anger.

“Half the colony’s in there! The took Eagan and Sam and… and Lilith! Do something!

“I didn’t want it to end this way. I did what I could.” She heard Garrus and Mordin approaching, taking up positions behind her.

“More than most, Shepard,” Garrus rumbled behind her, something in his subvocals she didn’t recognize.

“Shepard?” The anger disappeared from the mechanic’s eyes as he looked Danica over. “Wait…I know that name. Sure, I remember you. You’re some type of big Alliance hero.”

A new voice joined them; one she’d know anywhere. Kaidan Alenko emerged from behind a row of crates and Danica’s heart stuttered. He looked older; the angles of his face sharper; dark stubble on his jaw. But he still had the same chocolaty brown eyes. God, she adored those eyes.

“Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel. You’re in the presence of a legend, Deland. And a ghost.” HIs voice didn’t sound right. It was tense - reserved. Something tightened in Danica’s chest. She’d expected seeing him to feel like….well like it did when she saw Garrus; Like coming home. But it didn’t. It felt...wrong. The mechanic snorted when he saw Kaidan approaching.

“All the good people we lost, and you get left behind. Figures. Screw this! I’m done with you Alliance types.” The man waved them all off and walked away, but Danica’s eyes were on Kaidan. He paused for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her. She should have felt relief or happiness, but she felt neither. Something was definitely wrong. When Kaiden stepped away, he shook his head.

“I thought you were dead, Shepard,” he said. “We all did.”

“It’s been too long, Kaiden. How’ve you been?” She decided to go the casual route rather than jump right into the two-year coma in a Cerberus lab story. But Kaidan’s eyes narrowed.

“Is that all you have to say? You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened? I thought we had something, Shepard. Something real. I loved you! Thinking you were dead tore me apart! How could you put me through that?” Kaidan scowled at her. Actually scowled. Each word was like a punch in the gut. “Why did you try to contact me? Why didn’t you let me know you were alive?”

“Not my choice,” She tried to keep her voice and her temper even. “I spent the last two years in some kind of coma while Cerberus rebuilt me.”

Kaidan took a step back from her, suspicion flickering in eyes. That hurt the worst yet. Not even Tali had acted like that - after Cerberus had infiltrated her home.

“You’re with Cerberus now? I can’t believe the reports were right” He said. “Garrus too? I can’t believe you’d do this, Vakarian. Let her do this.”

“I go where Shepard goes,” Garrus said, that strange tone in his subvocals again. She took a step back towards him just as he moved closer to her. At least he always had her back. “What reports are you talking about? You mean you already knew?”

“Alliance intel thought Cerberus might behind the missing human colonies. I got a tip this colony might be the next to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumors that you weren’t dead; that you were working for the enemy.”

The enemy? Danica shook her head. This wasn’t anything like she’d imagined her reunion with Kaidan. She wasn’t quite sure when he’d turned into such a dick, but her patience was wearing thin.

“Listen, Kaidan, Cerberus and I want the same thing - to save our colonies. That doesn’t mean I answer to them.”

Kaidan took a step forward, challenging her. He’d never done that before. Oh, things had certainly changed. Danica crossed her arms and glared back at him as he continued to approach as he spoke.

“Do you really believe that? Or is that just what Cerberus wants you to think? I wanted to believe the rumors that you were alive but I never expected anything like this! You turned your back on everything we believed in.” Kaidan’s words were like a knife in the chest. She dropped her arms, shock rolling through her body. Her stomach lurched. Behind her, Garrus growled. “You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me!”

If she hadn’t been so stunned, she’d be angry. As it were, she tried to get him to understand what was happening. That was the only explanation she could come up with right now - that he just didn't understand. It was the only thing that made sense. Kaidan Alenko didn't act this way. Not the Kaidan she knew.

“Kaiden you know me." She heard the begging in her voice and she hated it. But he’d thrown her so off, and she didn’t know what else to do. “You know I’d only do this for the right reasons. You saw it yourself - the Collectors are targeting human colonies. They’re working with the Reapers.”

“I wanna believe you, Shepard, but I don’t trust Cerberus. They could be using a threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. What if they’re behind it? What if they’re working with the Collectors?”

“You’re letting the way you feel about our past get in the way of the facts.” Her shock was beginning to wear off and she could feel her anger rising once again. This was fucking ridiculous. This man knew who she was. She'd thought he knew better than anyone. They'd trusted each other once and she wasn't quite sure how her dying changed all that. It's not like it was her fault.

“Maybe,” he retorted. “Or maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you’re the one who’s not thinking straight? You’ve changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie.”

That was it. The straw that broke the camel’s back. She’d had enough of his bullshit.  

“Where your loyalties lie? To the Council who brushed the Reapers under the rug as soon as I was a corpse floating in space? Or the Alliance who let them, without any resistance, after everything we sacrificed? After Ash….” Her voice broke at her name. There was pain in Kaidan’s expression - regret - but Danica didn’t care. She stepped towards him, and he retreated. Good. He should fucking run. If there was one person in the galaxy she’d never wanted to beat into a pulp, it was Kaidan Alenko. Until now. He'd been so steady; so calm; so trusting; so tooth-achingly kind and respectful. This? This was abhorrent. A good, hard ass kicking is what he needed. “Williams gave her life so that we could stop the Reapers. The Council and the Alliance threw her sacrifice away. And you let them! You stood by for two fucking years when you knew...you knew the Reapers were coming, and you did shit! So you tell me, who’s betraying who here, Alenko?”

Kaidan stared at her, mouth pressed into a line. Danica was about to start again - yell, scream, punch the stupid motherfucker right in his perfect little nose- when Garrus’ hand settled gently at the small of her back. Kaidan’s eyes flickered to Garrus and then back to her, narrowing with suspicion and she didn't bother to set him right. Let him think there was something there. She hoped it ate away at him.

“I have to report back to the Citadel,” he said, turning away. It’s up to them if they believe your story or not.”

Danica watched him go, her pounding heart a confusing dichotomy of pissed as hell and shattered. She had no idea what had just happened.

“You okay, Shep?” Garrus asked, his hand still on her back. She didn’t answer. She just stared after Kaidan as he walked away, never looking back. Neither Garrus nor Mordin said a word as they stood in silence and Garrus never moved his hand, like he was letting her know he was there. Finally, she activated her com.

“Joker, send a shuttle to pick us up. I’ve had enough of this colony.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus is a bad Turian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay.   
> Andromeda is taking over my life.

_ Every Turian who passed by stared at him, but he didn’t care. He’d spent enough time hiding his emotions. He’d spent enough time trying to tow the line while everyone threw away everything she’d worked for. Almost a year after she was gone and the Council had declared the Reapers exaggerated imaginings of a stressed soldier. The Alliance, her own people, hadn’t bothered to stand up for her. Even Anderson, after the first few months, had grown quiet.  _

_ “They did a good job.” Alenko’s voice made Garrus tense. The human stood next to him, looking up at the statue he’d been staring at for the last two hours. He came here every day. They had done a good job with the statue. They got her favorite gun right, her favorite armor right, her stance, even her hair.  _

_ But the face was all wrong. There weren’t any scars, there was no smirk, no twinkle in her eyes. Every time he looked at the statue of Shepard he hated it. And loved it. _

_ “Word is you’re leaving Spectre training,” Alenko said. Garrus didn’t look at him. “She’d want you to stick it out.” _

_ A rumbled rolled in Garrus’ chest.  _

_ “She’d want us to be looking for Reapers,” Garrus growled. “She’d want us preparing; getting everyone prepared. She’d want all of us together, not scattered across the universe, abiding whatever story the Council cooked up.” _

_ “As a Spectre, you could make a difference. People would listen to you,” Alenko argued. Garrus shook his head. The kid had always been naive, but this was laughable.  _

_ “Like they listened to Shepard?” Garrus demanded. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alenko flinched at her name. “I can’t stand by any more and watch them undo all the work she did. I won’t.” _

_ “I think...I think she’d understand, Garrus. She’d understand what the Council is…” _

_ “If that’s what you need to tell yourself, Alenko,” Garrus cut the human off. “But you and I know that she’d be pissed as hell. She’d hate all of this shit just as much as she’d hate this fucking statue.” _

_ He left Alenko standing on the walkway without another word. His small apartment was packed in just a few hours, the small holo of Shepard he kept tucked into the pocket of the black civis he wore. Then he slipped out in the middle of the night, leaving no messages, now forwarding address, no inclination of where he was going. Garrus Vakarian was a ghost - just like his Commander. _

 

______________

 

“EDI, where is Shepard?”

Her cabin was empty, she wasn’t in the armory or on the engineering deck. Garrus waited on the elevator for the AI to respond. 

“The Commander is in the training room,” EDI answered. “She asked for me to turn off all cameras and communications. She said wanted to “go dark.” I do not understand as the energy readings indicated the lights are on.”

Garrus punched in the code for the shuttle bay and chuckled. 

“It’s a human phrase,” he explained, secretly proud that the knew that term. “It means she doesn’t want to be bothered.”

He froze. Maybe he should leave her be. Maybe he was overstepping. She’d said nothing on the shuttle from Horizon, her face stoney and still. When they’d arrived back on the Normandy, she’d disappeared without a word. 

“I believe your presence would be an exception, Officer Vakarian,” EDI’s voice broke his reprieve. “I am also growing concerned. The Command has been in there for one hour and fifty-three minutes. According to my knowledge of human physiology, and given the battle she endured earlier, Shepard is likely reaching the limits of her physical capabilities. A rest would be in order.”

“Shit,” Garrus mumbled under his breath as he stepped off the elevator. The shuttle bay was almost identical to the original Normandy but the weapons lockers were gone as was the Mako - not that Garrus minded that. If he never had to ride in a Mako with Shepard again, he’d thank the Spirits. The training room was in the same place, tucked behind the elevator. Garrus took a deep breath before opening the door.

The new training room was an upgrade from the old Normandy. The Alliance training room had been small - one sparring droid, one treadmill, one set of weights. It had been dark and poorly ventilated. Shepard had been the only one who used it. Cerberus must have learned how much the Commander spent in there from Chakwas or Joker because this room was state of the art. It was big, cool and bright. Four sparring droids lined one wall, four treadmills lined the other, and along the back wall was a variety of weight and resistance machines. 

Shepard was in the middle of the room, pounding at the heavy punching bag hanging from the ceiling. Garrus paused just inside the door and watched. She was dressed in simple tight, black shorts and a sports bra. Her dark hair was pulled up into a simple ponytail that hung down between her shoulder blades. Pieces had fallen out and stuck to her face and neck with sweat. Muscles - hardened and toned - shifted under her pale skin and Garrus found himself wondering how it would be to feel her when she moved. Images on his hands on her back, her stomach flashed through his mind, before he could stop them. A flash of desire ran down his spine, followed quickly by guilt. That wasn’t why he was here. He was here for Shepard; because she was hurting, whether she’d admit it or not. She was hurting because of Alenko - that spoiled, naive, selfish, ungrateful prick…

“You were doing that earlier.” Shepard’s voice interrupted Garrus’ internal rant. She didn’t look at him as she continued to hit the bag. 

“Doing what?” Garrus forced his eyes up to her face as he walked over to the bag and moved behind it, steadying it with his hands. Shepard’s eyes flickered to his for a moment before focusing back on the bag. 

“Rumbled,” she said. “Your subvocals were different than I’ve heard before.”

Garrus froze. He’d spent too much time with non-turians - he’d completely forgotten to control himself. But humans didn’t have good enough hearing to catch subvocals.

“Since when can you hear my subvocals?” He asked. Trying to sound calm and hoping to avoid answering the question. Shepard tapped the side of her head.

“Cerberus upgrades,” She grunted, the let loose a flurry of blows on the bag that had Garrus stumbling back. Spirits, she was strong, even after two hours of training. “Apparently, they thought it was worth the investment in their ‘super soldier’ to improve my hearing.” 

The bitterness in her  with the voice concerned him. She hadn’t seemed to have a problem with the upgrades until now; until Alenko. He caught the low rumble in his throat before Shepard seemed to catch it. Which was good, because they had more important things to talk about.

“Shepard, what’s this all about?” He asked despite already knowing. He knew her well enough to know he needed to lead Danica to the topic rather than push her.

“What do you mean?” She was breathless and her moves were sluggish - tired.

“You’ve been in here two hours, Shep” he said. “EDI was getting worried.”

Her eyebrow shot up.

“EDI was worried?”

Garrus sighed. There was never any fooling Danica Shepard. He let go of the punching bag and moved to her side. 

“I was worried,” he said. “Today was rough. Another human colony. The Collector ship that spaced you. Alenko.”

He saw her jaw clench, but she kept her eyes forward. She didn’t stop; didn’t pause. 

“I’m fine,” she gritted out.

“Come on, Shep.” Garrus gently rested a hand on her shoulder, briefly revealing in the feel of her soft, hot skin. “It’s me.:”

Something about the fact that it was those words that gave her pause made Garrus’ heart stop a beat. She pulled up and dropped her hands to her sides but remained silent. Her chest heaved and Garrus had to force his eyes to not linger as those oddly enticing lumps of flesh - breasts, that was it. Sweat ran down her neck, down her face. Finally, she sighed. 

“Yeah, okay. Today was a shit show,” she said. Then she took a step forward and her knees went out. Garrus caught her around the waist before she hit the deck. “Fuck.”

“Spirits, Shepard,” Garrus grunted as he hauled her to his feet. His breath caught in his throat when she looped her arm around his waist. It was the first time he’d been without armor protecting him. Danica snorted a laugh and pointed to a bench along the back wall. 

“I may have overdone it,” she admitted. Garrus grunted in agreement, not trusting himself to talk with her arm around his waist. This was getting out of control. He didn’t have a thing for humans and even if he’d always had a...soft spot for Shepard. This was a slippery slope he was on. And how was not the time; not after what had happened with Alenko.

He deposited his Commander on the bench and went to the Med Station to get a med-gel injection. When Shepard waved it away, Garrus sat down on the bench next to her. And pushed the injection into her leg before she could stop him. 

“What the fuck, Garrus?” Shepard shoved him with her shoulder, but worn out as she was, it barely moved him. 

“I’m not carrying your beat up ass to your quarters just because you’re too stubborn,” he retorted, heart racing. He would never dared to such a thing to a Turian commanding officer. Hell, if he’d taken even a moment to think about it, he probably wouldn’t have done it to Shepard. Garrus set his jaw and prepared to be dressed down. 

Instead, Danica stared at him for a few moments and then burst out laughing. Garrus had no idea how to respond, so he waited for Shepard’s laughter to subside. She turned those dazzling blue eyes on him. 

“Oh, Garrus, what would I do without you?” She asked shaking her head. Again, he had no clue what to say, so he just flicked his mandibles in his best approximation of a smile and shrugged his shoulder. Danica shook her head again and then leaned back against the wall, eyes staring forward. 

They sat like that for a long time, shoulder to shoulder, in silence. Garrus was content to sit there as long as it took, enjoying the press of Shepard’s body next to him. After a while, Danica sighed. 

“He said he loved me,” she said quietly. Garrus waited a moment before saying anything.

“Did you...do you love him?” He asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer. But it was for Shepard. Another long silence followed before Shepard answered. 

“I thought….maybe,” She said, her words slow. “He was so...sweet. So simple. Everything was black and white for him and I...liked that. I liked the idea of everything being so clear. I think that’s why I was pulled to him. Like I was trying to hold onto that ideal in the storm of grey and chaos that was taking over everything. 

“And then I woke up in that lab, half me and half something else and I…” Shepard’s words faded away. Garrus glanced at her to see her working her jaw the way she did when she was getting emotional. He just waited until she was ready again. “I guess I was looking for that simplicity; for some semblance of who I was to grasp onto. I thought it would be Kaidan, but when I was him - even before he said anything, Garrus. I don’t love him. I never did. And now I’m a traitor and a heartless bitch.”

Garrus could stop the angry rumble in his chest. 

“You are not a traitor,” he growled, drawing Shepard’s gaze. “Alenko was out of line and you were right. He did betray you by not standing up to the Council or the Alliance. That’s why I left the Citadel.”

Shepard’s eyes widened. 

“That’s why you left?”

Garrus couldn’t withstand the emotion in her eyes; the softness of her voice, so he looked away. 

“I was raising hell about the whole thing and it was getting me into trouble. Eventually, my training supervisor told me to shut up or get out. So I got out.” He didn’t tell her about his agreement with Alenko. She didn’t need that right now. “You shouldn’t let what he said get to you, Shep. You’re doing the best you can. The Reapers are the real threat here and Cerberus are the only ones willing to do anything about it. They aren’t manipulating you; they are using you and you’re not blind. You’re probably the only one in the damned universe who has their head on straight.”

“Garrus…” Shepard said quietly but didn’t continue until he looked back to her. “Thank you.”

He swallowed hard. 

“Anytime, Shepard,” he said. Danica didn’t say anything else. Instead, she shifted on the bench next to him until her arm was linked in his and her head rest on his shoulder. He was pretty sure no force in the universe could wrest him from this position. His Commander snuggled up to him - Spirits, he was an awful Turian. 

“Garrus,” Shepard said again after a while. “That noise you made with your subvocals made today on Horizon when Kaidan...What did it mean?”

He should lie. He shouldn’t let himself get any closer to the dangerous line he was toeing. But this was Shepard. She wasn’t just his CO, she was his best friend. If he knew her at all, he knew that meant far more to her than rank or title. 

“It was...protective,” he said. “I knew you don’t need protecting. You can take care of yourself. I just…”

“I liked it,” she admitted, cutting him off. His heart raced at her words. “Even if I can take care of myself, it’s nice to know that someone - that you, want to protect me.”

Garrus didn’t answer. He couldn’t speak past the breath caught in his throat. Danica didn’t say anything either but her soft, five-fingered hand slipped down his arm into his hand. As his fingers closed around hers, Garrus felt himself cross that dangerous line, diving headfirst down that slippery slope eh’d been worried about earlier. 

He really was an awful Turian. 


End file.
